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Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school!


A policeman saw a man walking down the street with a penguin. He told the man he should take the penguin to the zoo. 'Good idea', the man replied, and off he went. The next day the policeman saw the man again, and he still had the penguin with him. 'I thought I told you to take the penguin to the zoo', the policeman said. 'I did', answered the man, 'and today I'm taking him to the movies!'


There were two people robbing an apartment. The first one said, "I hear the owner coming! Quick, jump out the window!" The second one said, "Are you crazy? We're on the thirteenth floor!" The first one said, "This is no time to be superstitious!"

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During President Bush's recent trip to India, 17 Secret Service Labradors and German shepherds accompanying him (each with its own police "rank," such as "lieutenant") were housed in five-star hotels in Delhi, according to local press stories (but Delhi police dogs, assisting in the same missions, went home to kennels).

Among the places of business particularly affected by Americans' cell-phone rudeness was the Green Oaks Family Dentistry clinic in Arlington, Texas, according to a February USA Today story. Office manager Lisa Teague said patients were carrying on phone conversations while hygienists worked in their mouths. "It was very disruptive," she said.

Andrew Thurnheer, 45, was elected in January as the highway superintendent in Danby, N.Y., even though he still lives with his parents. He doesn't sleep in his old bedroom, though; he sleeps in his tree house, 40 feet up, which he built nearly 20 years ago, and which has a generator-powered elevator, a shower and a propane heater.

The head of the Jo Richardson comprehensive school in Dagenham, England, prohibits students from raising their hands in class, according to a January Daily Telegraph report, to keep those not called on from feeling "victimi(zed)."

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